Monday mornings are the pits. The worst part of the day is rolling into work first thing in the morning while the weekend’s exploits still weigh heavy on the mind, particularly the people that you were fortunate enough to share those exploits with. While inside jokes and witty digs float around your brain, you walk into your office and you’re suddenly neck deep in a sea of social mediocrity that doesn’t quite stack up. Then you’ve got to confront the reality that you’ll have to spend the next five days keeping your commentary PC and overselling other people’s bad jokes just so that you can continue to afford
bottle service beers once happy hour ends on Friday and be cool again. What a racket.
Fortunately, the American consciousness is littered with people who manage to dominate Monday through Friday and right on through the weekend. They make the rest of us believe that one day we can do the same, and on Monday mornings from now on, TBSE will be telling you all about them in a new weekly segment that I’ve chosen to call “The Coolest Person in America.” For the sake of full disclosure, I have no clue how to sustain this kind of awesome. However, by pointing out who the coolest person in America is each Monday morning, I hope to find the common thread that weaved their dreams into reality and eventually sew dual Technicolor Dreamcoats of awesome for Tuna and I to rock on our way into high society.
Like 64 other coaches this year, Andy Enfield led the upstart Eagles of Florida Gulf Coast University into the NCAA tournament. Like 32 other coaches, Enfield led the Eagles to an opening round victory, becoming only the seventh 15 seed in tournament history to do so. Like 16 other coaches, Enfield and the Eagles logged a second victory, the first time that a 15 seed had ever moved on to the Sweet 16. All of this is impressive, but it’s all only footnote to what makes Enfield the coolest person in America this morning.
Basketball is Enfield’s second career. Previously he started a software company in New York called TractManager that manages contracts for healthcare companies. He left the $100 million company to his partner in 2006 to pursue a career as a basketball coach and still retains some ownership with no management responsibilities. Frankly, this would have been enough for me. I probably would have spent the rest of my life living off those royalties and maybe posting content to this blog more than once every six months. Whatever. That’s probably a valuable insight into my mediocrity. I’ll ignore it.
Before leaving the city he managed to pluck a stunning super model named Amanda Marcum for his wife. According to Enfield, he took her to Taco Bell and a St. John’s basketball game on their first date, presumably because the Xbox console in his parents’ basement was unavailable that night. Somehow that worked out and he managed to get the former Amanda Marcum to agree to have her life go from this…
I’m convinced that Andy Enfield’s soul is the spiritual equivalent of John Ham’s wiener or Gene Keady’s combover: simply the best in the biz. So is his super model wife. So are the players he got to agree to come to an under-the-radar school like Florida Gulf Coast. So is America.
Well played, Andy Enfield. The rest of America has a long way to go.