All posts in Recipes

Cooking for your Lady

by dangermike on September 16, 2011 in Recipes with 2 Comments

Cooking for a new lady is a pretty strong move- a deal-sealer so to speak. Men look strong and talented in the kitchen. Use this to your advantage and rock her socks (“culinarianly” speaking). You know what they say, when you can please her mouth, she will please you with her mouth (that’s not actually a saying but it should be). Here are a couple of things to think about when you whip something up for that special chick in your life:

Keep it light-

You don’t want to weigh down your date at the very beginning of your date, it will make the rest of the evening a challenge. No girl wants to pull down her underpants when she feels like a whale. Basically, keep it light. Try not to feed her a stew and don’t cook a starch with your dish, no pasta and no potatoes (not a law, just a rule of thumb). Go with some green beans or maybe some zucchini, they are filling when you eat it but they don’t have a lot of complex carbs that will bloat her for the whole evening and glue her boyshorts to her butt.

Make it look natural-

If you aren’t great with a knife, have her come over after you’ve finished preparing for the meal. On the other hand, if you are a whiz in the kitchen, have everything waiting for you in your fridge so you can whip it out and impress the shit out of her. Either way, a list of your jobs is KEY. They call them prep lists or production sheets in the restaurant industry and they will keep you on schedule and organized. If you get flustered and do things in the wrong order you could burn your food or let part of it get cold while you finish the rest of your less-than-planned meal. Don’t let it happen to you.

Make it something you can share-

I’m sure most of you guys have seen Lady & The Tramp in your lifetime and I’m also sure that you remember the spaghetti scene: two dogs frenching over some linguini. That’s what you need to do- when you take a lady out, it’s smart to get dessert because you can clink spoons and laugh at how clumsy you both are and it’s a very cute experience. SO, if you can’t come up with a main course that is conducive for sharing, serve it family style. Get a big plate and serve it so you have to sit close get in each others airspace.

Keep it simple-

Did you just find the best recipe for a TexMex soufflé? But have you never tried to make (an annoying fucking piece of shit) a soufflé before? If so, don’t make it for your date. Your chances for a shared boner-experience will deflate at the same rate as your poorly made soufflé. There are also flavors to go with and others to avoid. Do you like spicy? Me too. But nothings worst than burning your dates’ tongue. A good idea is garlic. I haven’t met a girl that doesn’t like garlic, just doesn’t exist. Also, go light on the salt- you can always add more later

I hope that you take my advice, I try not to steer you wrong. Anyway, all this info has led me to pick one dish above all others for the meal-of-choice for a night in:

Roasted Chicken with Zucchini

This is a relatively easy recipe: it doesn’t take a lot of skill, it’s easy to know when it’s done (stab the chicken and see if it bleeds, if not then it’s done), and it’s easy to multitask and make your side at the same time as your protein.

Turn your oven on to 375 degrees and let it warm up.
Make a spice rub (add salt to your spice rub!!!!!!!!!) and rub on the skin of the chicken and right under the skin too, try your best to get it all over the bird- even the inside. Rub a little oil on the outside of the chicken just to make sure the skin doesn’t burn
Learn how to “truss” your bird- very easy once you’ve seen it on youtube (which I will put at the bottom)
You don’t have to do this step but I like to sear it on the outside before I get it in the oven- get the skin nice and golden first. All you have to do is get a pan hot and cook on both sides for like 2-3 minutes
Put your bird in the oven
Cut your zucchini
…Wait
Start to check your chicken after an hour. If it bleeds, put it back in the oven for 5-10 minutes.
Once your chicken has been in the oven for about an hour, heat up your pan, put a tablespoon of vegetable oil in it, and start to sauté.
Toss those veggies in the pan for like 5 minutes and serve when the chicken’s done

You want her to think, “if this meat’s this good in my mouth, I bet his man-meat is better!”

This is how to “truss”

I recommend this as mood music

Turizo Meatball Sub with a Verde Pasta Salad

by dangermike on September 2, 2011 in Recipes with 1 Comment

First off- Turizo is what I’m going to call my Turkey Chorizo, seemed like prudent decision.

I made my own chorizo at school a couple of weeks ago, I ground the pork with some chipotles and it was delicious. I thought to myself, “myself, why don’t you make those into meatballs and turn those meatballs into a meatball sub?” It was a great question, so I swallowed my pride and made these beauties.

Spicy Pomodoro Sauce-

This is a pretty fun sauce to make:

First you get some tomatoes and concasse them. That means you score the undersize of the tomato in an X, dig out the stem, and drop them in boiling water for 30 seconds. After the half-minute, take them out and run them under cool water- this makes the skin practically fall off. Once you take the skin off, cut the tomatoes in quarters, and separate the core/seeds into one bowl and the outside into another. Put the seeds/core into a fine mesh strainer and let the tomato water seep out and put that to the side. Take the tomatoes you have left over, dice them up and put those to the side too.

Take your leaks and mince them. Take your garlic cloves and slice them. Take your chilis and dice them finely. And, lastly, take your cilantro and chop that.

In a sauce pot on medium-low, drop in your garlic to sweat. Once they are see-thru, add the chili. Once that becomes fragrant, add the leeks and cook those until they get some color, which should take a couple of minutes. Once you have completed ALL of those steps, add your diced tomatoes, tomato water, and turn the pot up a tiny little bit.

You need to cook the sauce until you see the tomato pieces start to break down. Once you see that, start to taste and season with salt until you like the flavor. After you like what you’re tasting, put it in the blender and pulse it so it looks a little saucier. Put back into the pot, turn the heat off and then add your cilantro.

Let this rest for a little.

Turizo Meatballs-

Mince up your Chipotle peppers (I used 3—2 were large and 1 was regular sized and this came out pretty effin spicy so maybe tone it down), Leeks and I added some of the serrano that I had left over. Mix all that with a pound of Turkey meat, 1 egg yolk, the bread crumbs from 1 toasted piece of ground up white bread, and a season mixture made of paprika, chili powder, ground cumin, ground corriander, salt and pepper.

Mix it, Ball it, put on a sheet pan and into the oven heated to 375 degrees. My balls are bigger than a golfball but smaller than a baseball- but make your balls however you like balls. Mine took a little under 30 minutes to cook in the oven before I dropped them into the sauce.

Heat in the sauce for a while, place in the roll, put some cheese (I used parm) and eat!

Verde Pasta Salad-

I love pasta salads made with vinaigrettes so I make them all the time-

The dressing is made from, rice wine vinegar, lime juice, cilantro, any green chili you have, leeks and spinach. The spinach is the secret here, you drop it into boiling water, then put it in your mixture, and then puree it in the blender. The spinach doesn’t really effect the flavor but it does make your dressing super green.

Then you boil your pasta, I chose “pastina,” and dress and serve warm or cold- your preference.

Sandwiches?

by dangermike on August 15, 2011 in Recipes with 1 Comment

I love sandwiches, they are my favorite food. Personally, I don’t think they get the credit they deserve so I’m going to talk about them and show pics and stuff, starting now:

The sandwich is normally comprised of a few parts- Bread, Spread, Filling and Garnish. Some sandwiches have it all built in like a good Tuna (wink wink) sandwich that’s mixed with mayo and dill pickles and other types of goodness. Other sandwiches have very distinct parts like an Italian Sub or something like that. Something you can see all the different layers and whatnot. I don’t really care how the sandwich is created as long as it has balance (and a homemade mayo but I’ll get to that). I’ve made a couple examples for you to check them out and see what I mean.

1. Summer Fish Sandwich

This was a piece of Rainbow Mountain Trout, blackened, with a citrus aioli, simple yogurt cilantro slaw and sweetened peppers on top, all on a ciabatta bun. All of the elements of the sandwich play so well together- the creaminess of the slaw and the acid in the aioli (I used a ton of lemon juice and white wine vinegar), and the spiciness of the fish and the sweetness of the peppers. Balance!

Sweet Peppers-

1 Red Bell Pepper

1 Poblano Pepper

Agave Nectar

Lemon Juice

-Cut up the peppers into a brunoise, put all ingredients in a pot and simmer for a while, maybe like a half hour. You want them sweet and spicy-

Citrus Aioli-

-Your normal mayo, which I’ve discussed, plus the zest of an orange and a lime, and a hefty amount of lemon juice and white wine vinegar-

Fish-

-Go to your supermarket and get Chipotle Chili Powder, it’s a good investment. Mix that with Paprika, Cumin, Regular Chili Powder, Salt and Pepper. Remember to let the Chipotle shine but make sure not to use too much, it’ll get too spicy-

Slaw-

-I honestly don’t totally remember. It was something like- Cabbage, some of the aforementioned Aioli, Yogurt, finely chopped Cilantro, and Salt and Pepper-

: unfortunately, the flash wiped out a lot of the green in the slaw, it was green- I promise.

2. Portabello

I love mushrooms and this was a fun sandwich. On a Focaccia roll put, Balsamic Parsley Mayo, Portabello, Feta, and Arugula Salad. Again the balance between fat and acid is important here- Feta has a pretty distinct mouthfeel, it coats the tongue and can be unpleasant. The strong acid in the Arugula Salad and the Mayo balance it out nicely.

Balsamic Mayo-

-Your average Mayo with Balsamic vinegar substituted for regular vinegar, and add Italian Parsley and Lemon too-

Arugula Salad-

-I made a vinaigrette of Lemon Juice, White Wine Vinegar, and Vegetable Oil. Normally you are supposed to add 3 parts of Oil to 1 part of Vinegar but I did half and half for this, I wanted the heavy amount of acid. After I made the dressing, I dressed the Arugula (obviously dumdums)-

Shroom w/ Feta-

-It’s better on the grill but I’m not all the way moved in yet- oil in a saute pan and cook the Shroom face down first for a little while. After a few minutes, turn it over and put Feta in the cap. After a minute or so, pour a little water (or veggie stock, or water mixed with balsamic vinegar, or whatever- be creative) under the Shroom and cover with another pan. This will soften the cheese and moisten the Mushroom-

I really think you should try to make these, you will love them.

The Saga of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks

by robthewelterweight on August 11, 2011 in Food, Kitchen Items, Recipes with No comments

It all started innocently enough. John was sitting in the living room watching TV on a couch that also gave him a panoramic view of the kitchen. I was bumbling around the kitchen when, for whatever reason, the manner in which I was fixing my dinner got under John’s skin. He couldn’t tell me not to eat, and he certainly wasn’t going to move, so reached into his bag of tricks for a line that would be equal parts insulting, confusing and let this soul-crusher fly: “Hey bitch, make me some pancakes.” These six words ultimately became the origin of The Saga of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks.

Tuna quickly got involved and in the days that followed the three of us traded subtle jabs insinuating that the other’s time would be better spent making pancakes for the rest of the group. Any time someone was walking out the door on their way to the grocery store the last words exchanged were usually something along the lines of, “And don’t come back here without some Bisquick.”

This went on for a few months before coming to a head the weekend prior to my brother Justin’s move to South Carolina. John and I spent that Sunday driving back to Charleston from Washington, D.C. after a three day weekend that included his sister’s wedding, aggressive drinking, heaters and plenty of garish behavior. We were already in rough shape when I talked John into stopping in Raleigh for an O.A.R. concert on Sunday night. It wasn’t a sound logistical decision, and when you consider our level of exhaustion it was pretty stupid, but it made sense at the time.

After the concert, our ETA for Charleston was somewhere in the vicinity of 4 a.m. and we were fading fast. Earlier in the day John and I entertained ourselves by sending hourly text messages to Justin demanding pancakes upon his arrival the following Sunday. Examples included: “I hope they taught you at sommelier school what wine goes best when serving me pancakes,” and “When you’re packing that U-Haul make sure you leave room for some Bisquick.”

During the final push for Charleston, those pancakes somehow became Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks. We didn’t bother sending the text messages to anyone anymore, it was way too late for that. This was solely for our own entertainment. By the final hour of the drive we were both in tears due to the potently hilarious combination of extreme mental and physical fatigue and some of the Flap Jackisms we had come up with. When we were about 50 miles from home a small animal darted into the middle of I-26 and I walloped it at 75 mph. After slowing down and listening closely for anything that may have been dragging underneath my car (we didn’t hear anything that sounded too serious), we promptly turned the radio back on and returned to concocting Flap Jackisms that would become the basis for a Facebook status campaign that took over my life for the next month. I should note that there was no shortage of participation from people across the Facebook community. Some of the month’s finer efforts include:

The culinary equivalent of a 700-foot home run is Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
Bet you can’t eat just one… short stack of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
I once saw a short stack of Justin Kiser’s flap jacks scissor kick Angela Lansberry.
After Milli Vanilli gave up their 1990 Grammy for Best New Artist, the award was promptly given to Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
Contrary to popular belief, the Pied Piper did not lead the children out of Hamelin, Germany in 1824 by playing a tune on his pipe, but by leaving a trail of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
The United States government was finally able to negotiate the release of the victims of the Iranian Hostage Crisis in 1981 by offering their captors a short stack of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
Ponce de Leon stopped looking for the Fountain of Youth when he found the recipe for Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
Most Americans believe The Great Depression ended because America entered World War II in 1941. Only the most dedicated historians point to the introduction of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
Tourists from around the globe flock to Amsterdam every year to experience its liberal policies on prostitution, marijuana and Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flapjacks!
According to Vogue magazine, “This Fall’s latest fashion trend is simply toting a plate of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks.” However, they also suggest you shouldn’t put too much butter on them because the no white after Labor Day rule is still in effect!
The only thing comparable to an unsuspecting intern absorbing a hit from Terry Tate Office Linebacker is your unsuspecting taste buds absorbing the flavor of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
The Acheans lured Helen of Troy away from King Menelaus with a short stack of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
On the first day God said, “Let there be light…….but first I need some of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!”
Tim Tebow tested positive for Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
Before winning eight gold medals in the 2008 Summer Olympics, Michael Phelps enjoyed a serving of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks. He later celebrated with bong hits and a double serving of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks!
Justin Kisers flap jacks are ranked 12th in the most recent AP College Football poll.

You think hanging onto Elian Gonzalez was difficult?

After a month long assault of bizarre adoration, Justin had no choice but to serve up some of those world famous buttermilk beauties to an eager audience of Ohm, Tuna and myself one Sunday morning. There was no shortage of anticipation and we brought a corresponding amount of enthusiasm to the event. We all dressed in suits and when Justin returned from Publix, he arrived to the sounds of NFL Films’ theme music blaring throughout the house and a slow clap.

Unfortunately we didn’t keep a close eye on the preparation of the aforementioned chocolate-chipped buttermilk beauties, because upon housing our respective short stacks, we were informed that the special ingredient in Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks is a triple adult serving of ex-lax. Like Elian Gonzalez, the flap jacks left us nearly as soon as they had came. Turns out the joke was on us, although I’m still reluctant to admit that it was funny. My sense of humor regarding this particular sequence of events has been jaded by residual bitterness which will probably decrease by 0.3% on a bi-monthly basis for the next decade or so. With any luck I’ll be able to force a giggle when I think about the Saga of Justin Kiser’s World Famous Flap Jacks by 2025.

Quick Hitters

by dangermike on August 4, 2011 in Advice, Recipes with No comments

Alright dudes and dudettes, Let’s get to the stuff right off the bat-

Facebook Apps-

This has to be the worst waste of time on the internet and I say that as an avid “Empires and Allies” player. Not only is it a waste of time, it also pisses off 90% of my Facebook “friends” from all the spam that these shitty games sends out from my account. Actually, I would like to take this time right here to officially apologize from all the invites I have sent you. Don’t worry though, after I play a Facebook game for 3 straight hours I hate myself enough for the both of us.

Slip on shoes-

At first I was totally against these on dudes. Well readers, I have totally changed my opinion- these shoes are awesome. I used to love me some flip-flops but would always be nervous that people were staring at my mangled and hair feet. With my slip-ons, I can wear ultra convenient footwear and not make the average passerby re-see their lunch. Also mine were $20 at Target, talk about a bargain.

Denim Shirts-

Second fashion point? Yup! I love to wear button downs but I also like to be comfortable. In the past all that meant was that I was stuck wearing flannel all the time (I use the word stuck loosely because if I had my way I would only wear flannel) however now that I have found the world of denim shirts, I am almost reborn. Let’s be honest, denim shirts have a stigma because normally the wearer is missing teeth and is wearing a full denim body suit. My denim application is with khakis and some slip-ons, it exudes confidence and sex appeal. Basically, Tuna can have his trunk club or whatever the fuck he wears, I’ll take my denim shirt and the title of Best Dressed Writer at the yearly company picnic.

Thursday Nights on FX-

If you haven’t been tuning in to FX on Thursdays then fuck you. First off it’s FX- they can use bad words and they have It’s Always Sunny in the City I Live In Now, awesome. Now they added Wilfred, which is hilarious. If you were to look at my internet history you will find a lot of Hentai and a lot of funny animal videos. So the idea of a sitcom where one of the main characters is a dog manifested by a human and it does silly dog stuff AND smokes weed and gets hammered really appeals to me. Then there’s Louie, which is my favorite show right now on TV. He is a masterful comedian and he has an innate ability to find comedy in the worst situations that you can inherently identify with (well maybe for dudes more than chicks but whatever). His little bit about Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn made me laugh the hardest I’ve laughed since the Episode of Always Sunny where they start putting cats in the wall.

My New Kitchen-

As you can tell, I haven’t posted much lately- I’ve been moving and it sucks. What doesn’t suck is my new kitchen. I have a gas range, tons of space, dishwasher, and room for my knife magnet rack. It’s simply awesome. Actually, I extend an invitation to any reader or writer (looking at you KiD) to come eat my food. I mean, I have room for a kitchen table now, we can get romantic.

Leeks and Peppers are my favorite foods.

Yup, Leeks, Peppers, and Corn too I guess

Pancetta to unhealthy up this Turkey Burger

That's the beer braising I mentioned a while back.

Mahi and Swordfish with a Summer Sqaush Medley over a Leek-Cilantro Rice Pilaf.

What’s in your durnk food hall of fame?

by swanznugget on July 25, 2011 in Advice, Alcohol, Beer, Food, Recipes with 4 Comments

The human heart is a powerful cooking staple that can be ripped straight from the chest of your assistant chef.

This should be a pretty self-explanatory concept to 100% of this blog’s target audience, but we get paid by the word here at TBSE, so here goes:

Sugars and fats use the same neurological pathways as addictive drugs. Getting rowdy means you’re dehydrating yourself and will eventually feel an empty stomach. Getting drunk means you can’t (or really, really, really shouldn’t) cruise for some fast food without a DD. We’ve all been here before: drunk munchies and few options. You open the fridge to just stand and kind of stare at shit for a few minutes, waiting for inspiration to strike. You start rationalizing how many days dairy products are safe for beyond their sell by date. You may even be blackout and reconstructing these thoughts like a soggy jigsaw puzzle the following morning/early afternoon.

I’ve been very ~~Jewish~~ thrifty lately and have really cut down on grocery runs and entertainment spending in anticipation of a vacation and moving. This has produced among the finest achievements commemorated in my personal durnk food hall of fame, as well as some very handy cooking tips. Eat my heart out, dangermike.

1) Coffeemate is a flavorful milk substitute – Crème brule Coffeemate (editor’s note: this shit is like pouring candy into your coffee) over a bowl of lucky charms exclaims proudly to the world, “It is 3:30am and I didn’t put on real pants today.”

2) Almost any ingredient works in a big pot – There are a number of things I always think about eating, but am generally to lazy to move on to real cooking to incorporate. The big pot method ensures that every ingredient you get your paws on will work in your improvisational dish. If it doesn’t, there are so many other ingredients that you probably won’t notice. My recent success here involved black beans, artichoke hearts, whatever the hell alubias are, chicken broth, chicken tenderloins, and at least 4 or 5 spices that will head back into the pantry for another 60 months or so.

3) When desperate, stick with pasta – as an Italian in another life, I eat pasta virtually daily and sometimes twice daily. This was all well and good until over time the cheese, then the tomato sauce, and finally even the butter all ran out. This is most of what I put on pasta in some combination unless going all out with real cooking. Dry pasta isn’t too appealing, so creativity once again saved my stomach. Apparently, olive oil, garlic, and breadcrumbs with little prep is… well, edible. This one was pretty gross.

4) Have no shame – I was finally moved to write this post when I found myself eating spoonfuls of store brand Coo Whip this weekend. Nuff said.
What’s in your durnk food hall of fame?

Great Debates – Veggie vs Meat Lasagna

by Hot D on July 12, 2011 in Food, Great Debates, Random Thoughts, Recipes with 6 Comments

Good (almost) Afternoon!

Today I want to begin a series of posts entitled Great Debates, I hope you will enjoy the series to come. While you may think the debate between Veggie Lasagna and Meat Lasagna is trite, it’s not. Yes, it would probably be more intellectually stimulating to argue the merits of gay marriage or abortion but I know that will end in a disaster so lets not go there.

Instead, lets stick with food and something absolutely delicious that you can either agree with or not. And even if you don’t believe me, maybe you can make a ton of lasagna, have some friends over, and be gluttons together.

Lets look at the merits of each type of lasagna…though, before we do, how good is lasagna in general? Its a delicious dish! Regardless of the insides of your lasagna (which is basically a casserole of sorts) it is always packed with delicious cheese, sauce, and perfectly cooked noodles. So, fuck yeah lasagna, well done!

Meat Lasagna

This meat filled lasagna looks delicious! I’m going to guess about whats in this and say its…meat, cheese, and a form of tomato sauce. This is pretty classic lasagna. This is basically the Italian version of a taco, am I wrong? If we were looking to go traditional, meat wins hands down. The flavor of the meat and the cheese and the sauce…delicious, gooey, flavorful hunk of pasta, cheese, and meat. But…alas, there is the problem. Meat lasagna has very few ingredients. Yeah, that is really nice, its easy to make and flavorful. But meat lasagna lacks the depth of various ingredients. For my money, simple is good but sometimes its just not enough. When I’m slaving over the hot stove, I want to make something just intermediate enough that I feel challenged and like I’ve concocted a top notch gourmet recipe. The biggest problem with meat lasagna has to be the greasiness that often comes with ground beef. While it would make sense to use a leaner cut of ground beef, everyone knows the more fat the better the flavor. So while I support delicious meat, I don’t want to feel weighed down by all that greasiness in my delectable lasagna! Meat lasagna – I’m sorry but you do not do it for me.

Veggie Lasagna

Ok, so you can see where I’m leaning in the great debate between lasagnas. You can also see how absolutely delicious this veggie lasagna looks to the right. Let me speak of the merits of the veggie lasagna for a second – nutritional. This is really all I have to say about it. So you aren’t a veggie eater, put some of the veggies you like into it. When I first had veggie lasagna (my grandma’s recipe), she told me you can use what you like. Why use broccoli or cauliflower if you hate it? Well she is absolutely right. I made a mean veggie lasagna the other night using carrots, onions, spinach, squash, zucchini, and a bell pepper. Hows that for your daily serving of vegetables? Not to mention, you are gonna feel good afterward! Very little grease, a lot of great vegetable goodness…win! This is your more contemporary lasagna alternative to the classic/traditional that is the meat lasagna. Sure you can spice up the meat lasagna to be more progressive but at the end of the day its just not gonna get there. How about grilled veggie lasagna? Sure! You can do it! And that is the joy of veggie lasagna, its adventurous, fun, and delicious. The only downside: its a little out there for you loyalists and if you don’t like veggies or you are a meatatarian, this wont be for you.

So in the first great debate, the Veggie Lasagna takes the cake. Meat Lasagna – you still are classic, you are good, but you are dated. I’m moving on from you but trust, I will definitely eat you later.

I must say, though, meat definitely wins in the most outrageous lasagna category with this gem.

Turkey Burgers

by dangermike on July 11, 2011 in Recipes with No comments

It’s been a while since I have posted anything food related. Not going to lie, Kilian has me rattled. But now that my self confidence has risen considerably, it’s time to grace your faces with some grub.

I have been pretty high on Turkey burgers for some time now. They are healthier than regular burgers and they are good engines of flavor. I like to treat them like the frittata of burgers, whatever I have in my fridge I put into my Turkey Burgers and normally it’s pretty tasty. Flavors aside, I have discovered a Turkey Burger cooking technique that is The Best Stuff Ever: Beer Braising. What I do is turn a skillet on Medium-High, put the Turkey Burger on it to sear it. Once it sears, I pour a few ounces of beer in the pan and turn it on High. The beer will boil around and evaporate. It’s important to keep a good level of beer in the pan, too high and it will cool the pan and too low and it will burn the burger. The beer moistens the burger and imparts flavor. A Patriotic Budweiser is my favorite.

Yesterday I made a Beer Braised Balsamic Turkey Burger topped with Feta and Portobello with a Mayo that I added Lemon and Sriracha to. More than delicious. And with my less shitty camera, I have a less shitty picture.

When they look like this is when it’s perfect to add the beer. You want a hard sear on each side to make sure the juices are trapped in the burger. After, go nuts and add the beer.

Look, it’s juicy and topped with melted feta and a broiled portobello and it’s delicious.