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German Engineering in America

by thehorseyourodeinon on December 16, 2011 in Automotive, Transportation, Uncategorized with No comments

When the economy is reasonably sucky and we would all feel better about buying American but would rather not drive around in a Chevy Mailbu what’s a moderately successful 20-something to do? The answer of course is to buy German. Though not to support Angela Merkel and help bring the EU out of financial collapse (though that’s not a bad argument from a global economy perspective) but to support American workers. As anyone who’s driven South on I-85 to Atlanta knows, BMW owns and operates a plant right here in the good ‘ol US of A. Though I feel sorry enough for the people that have to live in Spartanburg, SC its apparent that like the  Prudential Center in Newark, NJ and the proposed Barclays Center in Brooklyn maybe there’s hope for some revitalization thanks to this and other multimillion dollar job creators like it. Apparently this plant alone has pushed $8.8 billion into South Carolina’s economy and created about 4.3 jobs statewide for every one job at BMW.

But BMW is far from alone in this corporate strategy. The other Germans at Mercedes and Volkswagen also have a plant here, with the Japanese following suit in the form of Honda (OH, AL & IN), Toyota (KY&MS) and Mitsubishi(IL) plants also in the US. Lesson learned here is fuck it, its a free market global economy. Buy what you want and if we’re doing anything right as far as business goes in the US no matter what you buy a good portion of that is going to support Americans but probably someone overseas as well. Its 2012 people and I think we can be OK with that.

P.S. BMW sends you a video of your car being made on the assembly line. Can you say customer satisfaction?

Anyone else loathe the Lexus Christmas commericials as much as I do?

by tuna on December 13, 2011 in Automotive, Marketing, Opinion with 2 Comments
Lexus IS 250 C

Seriously Lexus.  What are you thinking?  Just blatantly rubbing it in 99% of the populations’ face that we’ll never get the opportunity to give or receive a $70,000 car for Christmas.  Wake up and smell the hippies occupying your city park– we’re in the midst of a big ass recession.  We got people occupying the streets, rampant unemployment, low wages…. the only thing we have goin for us is our pets’ HEADS haven’t started fallin off.  Yet somehow, when I want to watch a goddamn football game like a normal American, I can’t go 15 minutes without being bombarded with this ridiculous notion that wealthy, young people are giving each other luxury cars for Christmas.  F that noise.

Oh…AND WORSE…The music.  The music they are trying to brainwash you into associating with Lexus. They stole that song from Home Alone.  I know it.  You know it.  Macaulay Culkin knows it.

Here’s the Home Alone song

Here’s the Lexus song

Strikingly similar if you ask me.  The only thing I’m going to feel when I hear that song is anger.  Anger at Lexus.  You can call it jealousy.  You can call it wealth envy.  Doesn’t matter to me.  You can call it whatever you want to.  Lexus can shove it.  Ain’t no 30 year olds givin each other Lexus’ for Christmas that I know.  Completely unrealistic and only good for making normal people feel inadequate around the holidays.

And thus starts my lifelong boycott Lexus.

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Car Review: MINI Me

by thehorseyourodeinon on November 11, 2011 in Automotive, Transportation, Uncategorized with No comments
photo(1)

My original purpose on this forum was to serve as transportation guru. This is my effort to return to that original focus, beginning with a review of my latest (and first new) automotive purchase, the 2011 MINI Countryman S ALL4.

The Decision:

So as Hot D can attest I have been car shopping for literally 6 months and though I think I knew that the MINI was what I wanted the entire time, the shitty dealer in Raleigh didn’t make me want their vehicles. They were relying on the cars to sell themselves and for me to pay nearly full price. It took driving an hour and a half to Winston-Salem for some sound salesmanship (pun intended, my salesman was an ex opera singer) and a friendly staff who gave my dog undue attention as he played shop mutt on the showroom floor, to win me over.

Why go 2011 and not 2012? you may ask. The simple answer is the economic one. Dealers, especially MINI dealers, aren’t budging on their newly stocked 2012 given that they have months upon months to sell them. The 2011′s however are costing them to sit on the lot for as long as they have, taking up valuable space and devaluing themselves the longer they sit there. As such the dealers are willing to negotiate on these not quite leftovers. I got 10% off the cost of the car, so I’m happy and feeling like i got a decent deal which strongly contributes to my overall satisfaction with the car.

The Review:

So I’ll begin in the positives column since these vastly outweigh the negatives.

  • Performance: Led by the handling MINI has become known for, the Countryman, though bigger than the regular cooper in nearly every way, still adheres to the principles that made the original MINI fun to drive.  Plus you can engage the sport button and enjoy more rapid acceleration, tighter steering and quicker gear changes.

  • Spacious Tailgater: Regular MINI’s do have a back seat but they are overall cramped and difficult to access. The Countryman supplies 4 doors with ample head and leg room for rear seat passengers and comes standard with rear bucket seats as opposed to the common bench, which just seems like a more sporty and comfortable way to haul around your friends. Though the cargo room with the rear seats up is adequate 99% of the time, putting a seat or two down really lets you utilize the pretty ample cargo space. Corn-hole boards for example fit quite nicely and with no problem fitting into the narrowest of college football stadium parking lots, the MINI makes a great tailgater.
  • Uniqueness/Customization Potential: With all the different variations of MINI available and the virtually limitless potential for customization its highly unlikely that I will see another Countryman that looks quite like mine. That being said the styling is also such that I won’t be pulling a Modern Family valet mistake and driving home the wrong car without even noticing. If there’s one thing that can be said for MINIs it’s that they stick out in a crowd (or else are buried underneath Chevy Silverados).
  • Gas Mileage: So of all the crossovers/SUVs I looked at the MINI had the best blend of good gas mileage and performance. The Chevy Equinox for example gets excellent gas mileage with its 4 cylinder engine, but given the size and weight of the car it clearly underperformed unless you opted for the 6 cylinder, which of course kills your gas mileage. The MINI gets 31/25, enough for me to park in the fuel-efficient spots at work.
  • No Cost Maintenance: For 3 year/36,000 miles I don’t have to do a thing to the MINI except put gas in it. Oil changes, brakes, windshield wipers all taken care of and if i want to double that coverage I can do so when the time comes. This was a deciding factor for me in deciding between a dealer demo Mercedes GLK 350 and the MINI. The Mercedes requiring hundreds in scheduled maintenance every year. No thanks.
  • Safety: With seven airbags and a crash sensor system which automatically unlocks the doors, turns on the hazards and cuts off the fuel pump in the event of a crash, all concerns about this being unsafe because its small go out the window like a small child with no seat belt on. Moreover the Countryman earned the IIHS Top Safety Pick designation for, of all things, the strength of its roof. As the IIHS announced on its website, ” The roof of the Countryman withstood a force equal to nearly 5 times the car’s weight. By comparison, the current federal standard is 1.5 times weight.” Ya I think I’m good.

  • Dual Pane Sunroof: Need I say more? This is just a must have option.

  • Sound System: Another must have option in my mind is the Harmon/Kardon sound system which constantly reminds me of how inadequate the stereo in my old car was. Couple this sound system with standard HD radio and 1 year of free Sirius and you’ll catch me obnoxiously cranking “Teardrops on my Guitar” windows open whilst driving down I-40.
  • All Wheel Drive: This was an option I wrestled with since I am in a pretty temperate climate here in NC and will likely only come across snow/ice-covered roads once or twice a year. This feature does also add to the weight of the car and therefore negatively impacts my gas mileage. That being said, I do travel North on more than a rare occasion  and given that DC, PA and the tri-state area are prone to their share of winter storms it’s comforting to know that I should not have too much of an issue during a moderate Nor’easter. Although I’m tempted to off-road with the MINI, its ground clearance (or lack thereof) surely prevents rock crawling.

  • Leather Seating: Though not necessary by any means, and certainly an expensive option, the optional leather seating makes a huge difference in the interior. Though for the price you could substitute for a nav system or something, I’m more of a form over function kinda guy, so for me the  looks and comfort justified the price tag.

No car is perfect and so here are my few problem areas with the MINI:

  • Premium Gas: So although the car does get 30 mpg highway, due to the nature of the engine it requires premium fuel. I contemplated putting regular in but was assured by the dealer that this would just decrease my miles per gallon to the point that the savings at the pump would not be worth it. I can only assume that in this engine the higher octane burns more efficiently, but either way its something that makes the MPG rating a little deceiving.
  • Cup-holder Size: so this is minor but the cup-holders won’t fit my Nalgene. What a white people problem I know. I may need to find an adapter or else a smaller Nalgene.

  • Semi-ineffective Rail System: The rail system, though an interesting concept is render largely useless due to the parking brake and arm rest. Though the concept (which includes snap in a sunglasses case, cup holder and cell phone charger) is sound, too many obstacles lie in the way. The area in front of the parking brake is lined to prevent you from putting the attachments in the way of the brake  and the arm rest when down (which it always is) makes access to the sunglasses holder quite difficult. Good in theory but poor execution.
  • Nonstandard Options: So like many German-made automobiles the number of options that should come standard are a bit staggering. The arm rest for instance is a $250 option. Bluetooth, optional. Floor mats, optional. Ipod integration, optional. Roof rails, optional. It’s these kinds of things that though make the base price of the car more attractive for media campaigns are infuriating to buyers in the long haul.
  • Non-intermittent wipers: This really surprised me but I guess it’s an issue for all MINIs. The wipers are only intermittent when the car is at a standstill. Hit the gas and they pick up pace again with no way of adjusting them on the go. This is particularly infuriating in a light rain when your wipers are going faster than the rain is coming down forcing the driver to turn them on and off again incessantly.

Overall:

Some critics have called the Countryman a jack of all trades, master of none and while I can see what they’re talking about, i think that could be said of nearly any crossover SUV. Good cargo room, but not like an F350. Sporty handling, but not like an M3. All wheel drive but not the ground clearance of a Jeep Wrangler. My point is a Jack of all trades is what a crossover is supposed to be and if i can get 30 mpgs, fit into any tailgate spot, and jam out to Miley Cyrus with two sunroof’s open, but can’t carry enough drywall to rebuild Mar-A-Lago then so be it.

New Car Trend: Matte Paint

by thehorseyourodeinon on September 23, 2011 in Automotive, Uncategorized with No comments
2011-BMW-M3-Frozen-Black-01-623x389

Cruising into work today I spotted, for the first time in some time, an Audi A6 done up in matte black. Much to my surprise the driver was not a hip hop mogul, NBA superstar nor was he Batman, but rather he was just an ordinary old white businessman en route to the office. While this might give the matte paint job less of a cool factor I think it actually indicates that this look is trending towards main stream. Right now few car makers offer such a paint as an option and as a result you will only see this look after some customization or in certain special edition situations such as with the BMW M3 Frozen Black Edition pictured above.

Though there are maintenance and care issues to consider with this type of paint (water spots, smudges etc. are easier to see on a matte finish), to me it is a subtle, understated look that is, if anything, fresh and modern in a car world where the bland Camry and Prius are the dominating forces in today’s market. You do have to dish out the dough for these paint jobs, custom or otherwise. The Frozen Black Edition M3 carries a price-tag of $79,650 for example, but lets hope that as the demand and availability of this stellar look increases that the price will become a little less stratospheric. The exclusivity and limited availability is part of the appeal however. Just imagine every other Camry rolling off the assembly line in matte black. That, if anything, would certainly hasten the end of this trend.

Growing Up: Changing the Way I Drive

by boutmypaper on September 12, 2011 in Automotive, Personal Care with No comments

I don’t really remember if I drove like a dick before college. What I do know, however, is besides a random trip to the beach or whatever—college is the first time I was introduced to long drives on the open road with a destination at least 350 miles away. These trips between Baltimore and Elon became a bit of a race with myself; I always wanted to beat my personal best time. Mapquest (does anyone still use Mapquest?) put my trip at 6 hours, 25 minutes. My best was 4:15. Bite me, internet.

A mix of reckless driving charges in Virginia and time have made me notice changes in my driving habits:

Speed
This one’s pretty elementary: I don’t drive quite as fast. First off, I remember royally fucking up my first car by getting it (ask Tuna how loud and crappy that white Sunbird convertible I had the first half of sophomore year was) to 100 mph on my way home from an Orioles game. Not wise. Also ask Tuna about our trips to Florida and Wilmington together…I don’t mess around. This was especially true when we had other cars in our group that I convinced myself I was racing (See: Beating a car to Tampa by an hour that left two hours prior to ours). Now it’s not worth the money…not like I even get tickets. I just don’t want them even MORE now.

Changing Lanes
I used to weave in and out of the lanes like Nelly once told me to do in a song. Unless I’m in a hurry or someone else is driving like a granny I don’t really bother changing lanes quite as much.

Letting People Pass Me
Being an asshole, I used to actually get personally offended when someone passed me on the road. If I saw it happening I would sometimes speed up so they couldn’t pass. If they successfully passed and I had a long way to drive, a game was hatched in my mind: I was determined to catch back up to said person. Or I’d just linger a little behind them and use them as a shield for cops. Either way, I got mad when someone would pass me and I don’t anymore. In fact, there’s nothing more satisfying than seeing someone zoom by you and then in ten miles you observe them having been pulled over.

As I sit here in my shirt and tie and avoid work for a half hour to type a blog post I realize that there are many areas I haven’t yet matured in, but there are some that I have. Driving is one.

Negotiating a Car Deal

by thehorseyourodeinon on September 2, 2011 in Automotive, Uncategorized with No comments
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I know this may seem like many people’s worst nightmare, and certain companies (i.e. CarMax) have realized it, thus adopting a practice known as “no haggle pricing” to convince you that you’re getting a great deal every day with them. I call bullshit. As some of you may know from my previous posts, I drive a 35 year old car every day and while I love her dearly (a red flag OCD symptom btw, think Hoarders), I can’t go two weeks without some new major mechanical problem to deal with. Needless to say this coupled with her 1970’s fuel inefficiency makes her cost prohibitive as a daily whip. As such I’ve been car shopping on and off for the last 3 months and have gotten a crash course in this stuff. Here are some tips that helped me out and might help you as well.

1)      Never pay list price even if the car’s in high demand. It’s a recession people. You wouldn’t pay full price for a t-shirt in this climate let alone a big purchase such as this.

2)      Calculate your total cost of ownership. I for one was comparing a Jeep Cherokee to a MINI Countryman in both lease and purchase. Gas mileage turned out to be a huge factor and it was worth estimating the difference between the two cars given average gas prices over the next 3 years or whatever the lease term.

3)      Take advantage of the model year ending. Most manufacturers are closing out their 2011’s now and are motivated to sell since the 2012’s are going to be in soon. Last thing they want is leftover 2011’s on their lot and as such deals can be made on those guys.

4)      Beware of fees. Documentation fees are often ridiculous and their true cost to the dealer is about $100. Don’t let them charge you $600.

5)      Don’t get too emotionally involved. You want this car and you can have it today if you just sign on that line. However if the deal blows or you can’t afford it you’ll at least have some buyer’s remorse and at worst have a visit from Lizard Lick Towing.

6)      Educate yourself.  Go to the dealer website, build the car you want or if you see a car on the lot snap a picture of the window sticker and build it on the site to double check that the dealer isn’t bullshitting you. Most dealers realize that consumers know as much about the car as they do before they even come see it, so keep them on their toes and keep them honest . You’ll be less likely to get screwed and more likely to be treated respectfully and seriously.

7)      Gals, bring a guy with you. Like it or not dealers will assume you don’t know shit and will try to take advantage. Stand by your man on this one.

8)      Don’t get stressed out. Buying a car should be a fun and exciting experience that makes you ultimately enjoy your purchase. Don’t let the wheeling and dealing get you down. It’s a game where everyone can win if everyone plays it right.

Anyway there’s my 2 cents. Happy hunting!

Catching Your Car Turn Over Milestones

by boutmypaper on August 1, 2011 in Automotive with No comments

Tuna told me the other day of TBSE’s 925 unique views the other day and it got me thinking about achievement milestones; the timing couldn’t have been better.

I love my car. She’s a silver Impala named Sylvia and she’s been very good to me. I’m often thankful for a well-behaved and healthy car when I see friends having problems with theirs. (link to ides shitty car post)

I’ve had mine for about 55,000 miles and maintain that there are fewer better feelings than seeing those milestone numbers turn over. I missed 70,000 and 75,000 so I was hellbent on catching 80k–and did.

Congratulations, Sylvia and Happy 80th birthday. Maybe I’ll give you a nice hand wash to commemorate ;)

The Ins and Outs of Having a Shitty Car.

by dangermike on July 29, 2011 in Advice, Automotive with 3 Comments

When I turned 17, my parents bestowed the holy family 1997 Volvo V70 station wagon upon me. It was big, boxy and and beautiful- almost like a fetish version of car porn (BBWC). I drove it everyday to and from high school and rocked out to Anna Nalick the entire way. It made it’s way to Elon and squired me around those country streets strewn with half dressed coeds who couldn’t help but rubber-neck when I passed them by. It was a sexy car. However, one hole in the engine block later and I’m stuck driving an 04 VW Passat with 170,000 miles on it. To say that I miss my Volvo is an understatement. My Volvo understood me, loved me, and most importantly, it turned on. The VW doesn’t seem to offer up the same perks. Lucky for me, I have come up with some tactics to deal with the lack of … turning on.

1.) Abuse.

I think everyone has seen an old episode of Happy Days. The juke box inevitably stops working and the gang is left with no hope until the Fonz arrives. Does the Fonz call a mechanic and say, “Hey pal, my juke box is on the fritz and I literally can’t jump the shark without it.” No way Jose. He hits it with the back of his fist and abra cadabra, let there be music. You should take that as a lesson because sometimes you can’t finesse things. Sometimes you need to impose your physical will and force your car to work and hitting it wherever you can find a spot is probably the best bet.

2.) Bargaining.

Sometimes I get into my car, turn the key, and hear the reassuring response of my engine desperately gasping at dirty sludge filled air and coming back to life. Unfortunately, that pretty much never happens and I normally have to rotate my key in the ignition about 2 – 300 times. Once you have done it a few dozen times you start to reason with your car and realize it’s a pretty fruitless venture. In those situations I am reminded of a toilet adventure after a bout with Texas Pete hot sauce and some slow braised pork empanadas. When I got to the second roll of TP I started to promise my formerly tight butthole that I would eat better tomorrow, start doing some cardio and stop drinking so much Miller High Life (I swear there’s a diarrhetic in there). Similarly, when I reach the end of my rope with key-twisting I start to promise phantom oil changes and tire rotations. Little does the car know that I have no intentions of rewarding its poor behavior.

3.) Praying.

Sometimes when you are at wits end with no other options you have to turn to The Man upstairs. This comes when you are cursing and sweating (and crying, but who can tell which moisture is which?) and you finally feebly ask The Holy One for a little road-side assistance. In my case I’m a sinner so my car’s in the shop and the bill is through the roof.

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